(SP) – On Tuesday, Josh McDaniels was prepared to become the new head coach of the Indianapolis Colts before experiencing a change of heart and deciding to remain offensive coordinator of the New England Patriots. Today, McDaniels is out of a job with the Patriots, fired by New England head coach Bill Belichick.

“Look, no job is ever guaranteed,” Belichick grumbled in his trademark style today, announcing the decision to fire McDaniels. “By backing out of the job with the Colts, he made sure he’d never be offered another head coaching job in the NFL outside of with this organization. And I couldn’t let the opportunity to rip that out from under him to, thereby ruining his entire career. When you have a chance to ruin a man, you take it. That’s been my entire life’s guiding philosophy.”

Belichick said firing McDaniels was an easy decision to make.

“Doing this made me smile after losing the Super Bowl,” he said. “I love to win, but a close second is ruining people. “Look what I did with Malcolm Butler. That was a lot of fun. And, really, I think we’ll be just fine without McDaniels. Tom Brady is our offense, not him. Look what Charlie Weis and Bill O’Brien did after leaving here. Jack shit. And Josh went to Denver before and took Tim Tebow in the 1st Round like an idiot. McDaniels was going to be unemployed and out on the street as a colossal failure eventually anyway. I just upped the timeline a bit.”

McDaniels admits he was surprised by the move and is still coming to terms with how quickly his career has collapsed in the past 24 hours.

“I don’t know what to do now, to be honest,” he said. “I really hope this XFL happens. It would be great to be reunited with Tim.”